Jay Pizzo's Blog

Shot myself in the foot

2010-03-06T20:20:00Z

What's going on,

I think I've officially recovered from Miami and the stag, I'm also coming off a cold which doesn't seem to go away. Last week kinda sucked for poker, itt started off horribly but slowly got better. Most of it was heads-up vs two huge fish. The first match was my own fault I guess. I was playing this guy on 1 table and he was horrible, like really bad. As we continued to play I thought I would take a chance and ask if he wanted to play on more than 1 table. This is usually a stupid thing to do, most fish will quit immediately if you ask them to do that. Fish are pretty sensitive, even if you say 'brb' cuz you have to take a piss or something, they will usually be gone by the time you get back. But surprisingly this fish answered with "Yes!"...then sat with me on 4 tables of heads-up. At this point he proceeded to run in god mode, winning every single all in, owning me in every small pot, and pretty much made me his bitch. I don't think I played that bad, I started to tilt a bit, but I had eskal sweating me to make sure I didn't do anything stupid. He was pretty much in agreement that all the pots I was losing were either standard or a cooler. After getting stuck like 3k in half hour, I decided to call it quits. I don't like to make it a habit to quit a HUGE fish, especially when I'm stuck, but I felt like I couldn't win at all. Bluffs weren't working, my call downs resulted in him value towning me etc etc. I told him 'gg' and left the tables. I managed to win some heads-up sessions later on vs other guys, but that session spun me for a little while.

So after that, the last couple days I decided to play less and study more. Every time I do this I always seem to get back on track, I hate that it takes me to start losing to study. But whatever, I haven't lost my focus just had a little hiccup. I have my brother's wedding coming up which isn't going to allow me to play as much as I like. So I plan on grinding like a bitch for the next week or two to stay on track.

Also, Two is still here in Toronto and going to be living with eskal for a while. Them two are taking the online tournament route and hammering out countless tournaments day and night. Eskal won a tournament last week beating a huge field, forget how many people, like 3500 or something.... Pretty nuts, congrats to him. Two will be blogging about the entire process, I posted a link to it on the left side of my home page. I'm sure he will be much more consistent when it comes to blogging than I am, so I would definitely check it out.

Other than that things have been pretty cool and chill. I'm absolutely loving this nice weather. I know most of you think I sit behind a computer screen all day, but I do have a dog and we go out for a nice long run every day. Also on the weekend Julie drags me on her super long walks all over downtown Toronto. Its nice to do it with the sun shining in my face, and I'll always take the extra vitamin D! (That's my personal training back round leaking out)

I'm heading out to my brother Rob's bday party in a few hours so gotta get ready.

Later

Detox

2010-03-01T04:40:00Z

Hey Guys,

So I'm back from Miami and dyer need for a health detox. Before I left for the trip we had my brother's stag which was a huge success, thanks for all of you who came by to support. We made a good amount of money and the night was a blast. With the open bar we all managed to get extremely out of hand. Two also made a surprise visit from Oregon which added to the celebratory drinks. We had a poker game going that had some decent action. I didn't play all night because I was running the game and was so cross-eyed I couldn't see the cards. But one funny hand did happen.. Eskal got up from his seat to grab a drink and the table agreed I could play his stack till he got back. The table was full of friends and family and eskal's cousin's who I've played a lot with in the past. I straddled the first hand, there was like 4 limpers and I blind checked my straddle because I probably wasn't paying attention. The flop came A,4,5 with two spades, I look down to see AQo, and lead at the pot. Without hesitation eskal's cousin snap called. Us two have a ton of history in past games where we are always trying to fuck each other, so I knew he was going to try and bluff me this hand. The turn comes a 6 of spades, I check, he bets pot, I call. The river brings the 10 of spades, bringing a 4 card flush on board. I check again and he immediately shoves the rest of his stack. At this point I almost snap called with one pair, but then I stopped, and was like "oh fuck, I'm really drunk right now, maybe I'm completely off here, and its not even my money I'm playing with!" I hummed and hawed for a sec and decided I would go with my initial read that he was going to bluff me in this pot. I also knew the 4th spade was a great bluff card for him, if he had a mediocre hand he would probably just checked and hope to win a showdown, but now he has to bluff with his air hands. I called, he laughed and told me to go fuck myself, and he mucked his cards.

Here's a pic I found from my iPhone that night, you can obviously tell who's stag it was. lol.

A day after the stag I flew off to Miami, from my last blog you know my flight got delayed and was stuck in the airport for a while. I finally made it there and walked into one of the nicest hotels I've ever stayed in. I knew the place was going to be unreal when it had a Ferrari, Lamborghini, Bentley and a Maserati all parked out front. That night we had dinner and drinks at STK which gave everyone and opportunity to meet each other and have a nice dinner. Everyone was really friendly and I was able to meet some nice people. The next day we golfed, I forget what the course was called but it was pretty tough. I played pretty terribly, but I haven't swung a club since last summer so I wasn't too disappointed. We were also about 6 beers deep at the turn which probably didn't help. That night we went for another amazing dinner.. I'm telling you these places were all 5 stars and sick.. and Cardrunners payed for everything. They also covered all our drinks for the entire trip which was super cool of them. That night after dinner is probably when I got the most wrecked, we went to a pretty cool sky bar then off strip club for a few last drinks. Its funny how you can bring a bunch of guys from all over the world to one place which can be a little awkward, but put a pair breasts and a drink in front of them and everyone becomes best friends! haha

All and all the trip was really awesome. I got to meet some a bunch of cool people, relax, and have a good time in Miami. I didn't get the chance to take any pictures, but one of the CR/Stox poker guy's did, nomo4life. Here is one of the vids I think I'm in, we had a beach volleyball tournament that my team ended up winning. He also posted a bunch of other video's in his blog if you want to check them out: blogs.cardrunners.com/nomo4life

(I'm the dude in the white t-shirt and white beach shorts for those who don't know me)

A big thanks to Cardrunners for the entire trip, and for any of you reading this interested in checking them out, let me know or check out their site.

Jay

In Miami!

2010-02-22T18:30:00Z

What's up guys,

My flight was a bit delayed from Toronto, so I'm sitting in the airport right now. I should be in Miami in a few hours. I'm going to do my best to blog while I'm there to keep everyone updated. Also, apparently they have a guy there who is going to be video blogging the entire trip and putting it on youtube. So once I find out the link or whatever I'll post it on here.

(Chillin in the airport)

Here's a quick write up from the Cardrunners website:

Nine Team CardRunners pros and instructors head to Miami today to usher in the inaugural Camp CardRunners. Attending are the lucky winners who qualified via Truly Free Poker Training. Anyone in TFPT who earned 15,000 points between July and December automatically received one entry for each month over 15,000 points.

Camp CardRunners will be hosted by Isaac "westmenloAA" Baron, Taylor "Green Plastic" Caby, Ryan "Daut44" Daut, Brian "Stinger" Hastings, Eric "p3achy_keen" Liu, Mike "Schneids" Schneider, Andrew "muddywater" Wiggins, Scott "iRock" Augustine and Corwin "[vital]Myth" Cole. The winners receive three nights at the Gansevoort South in Miami, dinners, golf, and more with the pros, and a personal leakfinder to help them improve their poker game. All this just for playing at Full Tilt Poker and being a member of Truly Free Poker Training.

Alex "nomo4life" Huang will be video blogging each day and conducting interviews with all the pros and winners.

Congratulations to:

ClvrNickname - ClvrNickname had to triple check his email because Camp CardRunners sounded too good to be true. During his sophomore year of college a friend scored 120k in a tournament, which is when he started taking poker seriously. After grinding 100NL he joined CardRunners, hired a coach, and conquered mid stakes NLHE.

(ME) Goodfella_84 - Canadian Goodfella_84 started playing poker during the Moneymaker boom while in college. After satelliting into a WPT and WSOP events (and cashing in one of the WSOP NL events), he found CardRunners and started to work on his cash game. CardRunners helped him move up from 50NL to 400NL and he currently plays 400-1000 NL. He's also learning HU PLO at the moment.

limitdonkey - Limitdonkey loves gambling and became attracted to poker after watching Gus Hansen in the WPTs. He started with 25-.50 home games and small stakes SNGs, but quickly discovered CardRunners and now beats up to 600NL and 400 PLO. He hopes to improve on the mental aspects of the game, and his favorite instructors are Stinger and iRock, both of whom he'll meet this week.

ManWithBrisk - ManWithBrisk found CardRunners upon a friend's recommendation. He credits CR with helping him improve his poker game and he started beating 10-50 NLHE. After studying with some other CR members one of them turned him onto SNGs, and he now plays primarily $10-$100 SNGs. One of the few winners holding a "real" job, he hopes to go pro in the next year.

straightaway123 - Straightaway123 is a high stakes PLO player, but he initially played $5 NL SNGs when he first discovered poker in college. He attributes many changes in his game to CardRunners, and left his first job after a year to play professionally. He sees CR instructors at his tables on a regular basis, and can't wait to pick their brains about PLO.

byosti - Byosti started playing during the Moneymaker boom when a friend transferred him money to an online site. He started at 100NL when he joined CardRunners and now plays 400NL. He has used CR to help him learn other games including HUNL. He plays professionally and is looking forward to tweaking his game after talking to some of the pros, especially Taylor.

akdb8r - Akdb8r is one of the non-professional poker players joining Camp CardRunners, and plays up to 100NL as a hobby. He is looking forward to the activities with the pros.

Tides are turning

2010-02-15T05:25:00Z

Poker has really been going well lately. Last week I was able to string together a bunch of winning sessions and I felt like I was playing my 'A' game much more than I have been in the last few months. It helps that I'm not running below EV, and the games have been pretty good with a bunch of action. Whether this is the start of a heater or not, I'm going to do my best to remain positive and continue to work on my game as much as I can away from the table. A few sessions last week I quit early to review my hand histories and the hands I played against other regulars. Its crazy some of the information you will find on an opponent even when they play a small insignificant pot. One of the key skills in cash game poker is identifying your opponent's hand range, so I like to find a regular who is giving me some problems and look at all his hands that went to show down with and take notes on it. Even if you don't find a huge whole in their game, it gives you a psychological confidence next time you're in a pot with them. You're not thinking, "oh shit, why is this guy always bluffing me?", instead if you do fold its because you feel like you've identified his range correctly and made the proper decision.

I've been watching and enjoying a bunch of the Olympics since they started. Just watched Canada get their first gold tonight which was pretty inspiring. Seeing how happy all his friends and family were after he won was pretty cool. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to win something that significant, maybe one day in the future I'll win the WSOP and can have that same feeling...lol

Alright I'm off to bed... I'll sign off with this classic.

Full Wrap

2010-02-09T05:27:00Z

What's up guys,

I've been fairly busy lately and meant to blog sooner but kinda forgot. I've got my brother's stag coming up which has taken up some of my time getting it organized, and I was home in Guelph for the weekend which resulted in limited poker playing. I'm still pretty pumped about the Cardrunners trip coming up, they made me answer a bunch of in depth questions about my poker career to send them. I'm not sure if they will post it on their site or not, but if they do I'll let you know.

Lately I've been playing a bunch of Pot Limit Omaha (plo) and trying to study the game in my spare time. I've always wanted to do this and I kept telling myself that once I get completely out of this downswing and I'd do it. But I was getting a little bored of holdem lately and thought I'd mix things up. I'm not a complete beginner at plo. I actually have a fair bit of experience. I did that sit and go challenge last year which was plo, and I've always played it here and there when I had the time. But now I'm actually going to study it away from the tables and see if I can beat the lower stakes. I watched some pretty cool videos that helped me understand a few things I was confused about. When watching a PLO game it may just seem like a lot of gambling, you tend to get it all-in much more than you do in holdem. Its actually much more complex than it looks. Identifying ranges and players betting patterns it much more difficult when they have 4 cards in their hand. Even if the biggest fish can go on a heater and win a bunch. I played a few thousand hands over the weekend and I'm a up decent amount. I won't move up stakes for a while, I'm doing this more as a learning experience and a motivator more than anything.

Aside from that things have been going pretty good. Oh yeah, the Super Bowl. This was the first Super Bowl in like 5 years that I didn't place one single bet. And for the simple reason in that I didn't know what to bet on whatsoever! I had no idea who was going to win, although I was leaning towards Indy. I looked at a bunch of prop bets that looked interesting, but I would of ended up losing if I did bet on them. So instead I just sat back and watched the game stress free. I'm not huge into sports betting anyway. I'm firm believer that only a small % of the betting population can actually show a profit, the rest of the casual bettors are all losers in the long run. The only time I bet on a game or fight is when I see something huge that I like. And when that happens I'll smash it for a bunch. Last year I think I made like 4 big bets and won all of them. Whenever I make small bets out of boredom, or even play in pools, I usually lose. Don't get me wrong, betting on sports can be fun and make a game more entertaining when done within your means.. But the second you start to think you can actually make money doing it is when you're fucked. Thats just my opinion though, I'm sure of bunch of sports bettors could prove me wrong. I'll just stick to poker where I feel like I have a significant edge.

Ok guys time to play some plo.. later

Jay

Won a trip to Camp Cardrunners!

2010-02-03T02:37:00Z

Wow I'm super stoked right now. I just found out I won a 3 night trip to Miami with the Cardrunners pros. A few days ago I received an email saying I won an alternate spot to Camp Cardrunners, I didn't think much of it because I was 1 of 8 alternates. But today after playing my session (a winning one!), I got a email saying someone had to cancel and I was offered the spot. I can't even get into how sick this is going to be. Not only will I be chillin and partying in the hot Miami sun, I will be with some of the best online poker players in the world. Being able to pick their brains, listen to their stories, and become friends with these guys. Part of the package is that you get to make a Leak finder video. Thats when you play a 1 hour session which is recorded, and one of them CR pros will watch it and provide commentary on mistakes they found.

I have been a long time member of Cardrunners and I can easily say all my success has come because of them. Everyday when I sit down and learn away from the tables I'm either reading the Cardrunner's forums or watching training videos. This is a real cool thing they are doing for their customers having this camp. I haven't gotten into all the details of the trip yet. But I know there are 8 winners and we are staying at Gansevoort South Hotel Spa . It actually works out well because my brother's stag is the Friday before I leave, so it won't interfere with that at all.

I honestly haven't been really excited about something in a long while, and this couldn't come at a better time. Poker is finally starting to get better and I now get to learn from some of the top players in the world. For a non-poker player this doesn't sound like much, but if you're a player like me, you realize that this is a once and a life time opportunity.

Anyways I have to fill out a bunch of information for the trip. Gotta run.

Jay

Sick

2010-01-28T05:27:00Z

What's up guy,

I've been pretty sick lately, still am as I'm writing this. Think its food poisoning or possibly just a bad case of the stomach flu, either way I haven't been able to play at all. I'm hoping to get better within the next few days and get back to the tables. I'll let you know when I'm back in action.

Jay

My Poker Office (pics)

2010-01-16T20:27:15Z

Alright I'm pretty much done setting up my poker office. I still have a few things to add here and there, I'm thinking of setting up a fish tank when I have the time. But other than that it has all I need and is very comfortable. I have a view of the CN tower from the east and a nice view of the water from my south window which is nice to look at when tilt is coming on!

Here are some pics. Enjoy.

That's pretty much it. I have the couch there so if people want to come over and play a session, they will have a comfortable place to play. Otherwise the office is pretty chill, its nice to play long sessions and its right across from the kitchen for quick snacks!

Later

Jay

Live Session

2010-01-11T05:14:00Z

Hey Guys,

Rogers put me on major tilt on Friday. I was playing an awesome session, the tables were good, I managed to get a fish to play me heads-up. I flop a set against the huge fish, then bam, Internet/cable goes down. I find out that they were doing some routine maintenance and all their services ended up being down for like 2 hours. I think it would make a little sense to let their customers know what they are planning on doing before just shutting everything down. Pretty annoying.

That night Julie was having her girlfriend's over so I went to go play some like poker with eskal and chantro. We ended being stuck on a wait list for a while, which kinda sucked. We finally got our seats only to have the game break within a couple hours. I got stuck about half a buy-in which was fine, in general this game gets pretty nuts so you need to pick your spots wisely or you have some huge swings. The second hand in I value towned myself in a pretty standard spot. Under the gun raises, guy to my right flats, and I flat with KQ of diamonds. Flop is K,J,4 rainbow. Original raiser checks, guy to my right leads 3/4 pot, I call, original raiser folds. Turn is a J. The guy instantly checks, I decide to check for a little pot control and either call a bet on the river, or bet for value if he checks. River is a 2. He quickly checks again, I make a super standard value bet knowing I have the best hand a high % of the time, but he calls and shows AK. Very passive line by him, but I later found out he's a huge nit and plays all his big hands like that. Eskal and Chantro ended up scooping some big pots which was nice. That session definitely gave me the itch to start playing more live poker, once I build my roll back up I'm going to take a chunk out and make it my live roll.

I had plans to get in some online sessions this weekend but I ended up getting pretty busy. Julie's parents were up one day, and on Saturday I was exhausted from playing that session all night on the Friday. So I'll be getting back into it tomorrow and plan to continue where I left off last week.

I'm going to watch some of these WEC fights then try to get to bed a reasonable to start fresh in the morning.

Later

Jay

Pleased

2010-01-08T02:39:00Z

I had a really great session today. Results didn't matter whatsoever, I actually didn't even look to see if I won or lost till hours after I was done. I was super focused on playing my 'A' game as much as possible, and worked on controlling my emotions during the entire session. Its crazy how much clearer your mind thinks when your consciously aware of how your feeling while playing. For example early in the session I was feeling good, my reads were on, and I was making minimal mistakes. I was able to understand how I was feeling at that point and targeted on keeping that mindset even if I lost some big pots. And thats exactly what ended up happening, I lost like 5 flips in a row... usually I wouldn't tilt, but I would get aggravated which I know was affecting my play. This time I was able to be aware that I would usually get frustrated in this spot, and focus on keeping a positive mindset and think clearly. I probably was playing my 'B' game at that point, which is much better than 'C' or 'D'. I continued to play and and managed to win it all back plus a bunch. It helps that I'm starting to run a little better, but I'm just trying to stay focused on only things I can control and nothing else.

I feel good about being a student again and that the learning and studying is actually exciting me. I haven't felt this way in a while. I remember a while back when I changed from tournaments to cash games, I was always super stoked to play and get better. its like anything in life I guess, not just poker. When you see improvements from hard work, its always a good feeling.

Aside from poker things are pretty chill... I think I finally finished my poker office so when I get the chance I'll take some pics and post them for you guys to take a look.

Hope 2010 is starting well for everyone else!

Jay

Ramblin'

2010-01-07T04:42:00Z

I'm feeling extra motivated at the moment and it gave me a bit of an energy boost so I figured I would blog about it. As mentioned in my last blog I'm taking extra steps to improve my game and my overall understanding of the game. I've learned a bunch over the last year or so but this last downswing affected me a little more than I would of liked. I need to focus on the emotional aspect of the game more now than ever.

You can study the game and players till you're blue in the face, but more often than not, its just not enough. I always prided myself in having good tilt control, knowing when to quit, dealing with losing sessions etc. But over these last few months that seemed to of gone out the window a little bit. I found myself playing when I shouldn't, feeling sorry for myself, whining in my head about running bad, blaming it all on variance... instead of manning up and realizing in the big picture those weren't all the reasons I was losing. Poker is really like no other job when it comes to stuff like this. Yes people have bad days at work, or even months. But most people still get the same pay check every two weeks. When shit goes bad in poker, and you're losing a bunch of money, emotional control has to be the number one priority to keep your sanity.

I was browsing through the 2+2 forums and stumbled across an amazing thread. Basically its a guy who was crushing it online and talks about how he approaches the game and how he feels the emotional aspect far out weighs the skill aspect.

Here's a quick snippet from one of his posts:

"Your mental, emotional state while playing is 80% of the work, and you can work and take specific steps to get better at that. Being in the right emotional state will allow you to open up your eyes to what you and the other players are doing without being stuck in the previous hand you lost, how much you are up, what you´re gonna eat later, etc.Combine that with some basic technical steps that can be taken and you got the other 20% to at least achieve enough to live comfortably off poker. I believe, that with todays games and climate, anybody with even mediocre intelligence and some discipline could at the very least make a comfortable living playing this game."

The thread goes on and on, and I won't lie, at some parts it actually made me feel a little dumb. Like 'shit I should know this'. But its just part of the learning curve I guess. I think I mentioned this before, but this past downswing it the absolute best thing that could of happened to me. Its forcing me to work harder and get better. If this didn't happen I probably would of continued making my xxx amount of dollars a month and been fine with it. But I now realize I'm not happy with that and I've got the potential to really be a great player.

I don't know how long I'm going to play poker for, I really don't. But one thing I do know is that when I look back at my poker days I want to know there was no wasted talent, and I was the best player I could be. And I'll be happy win or lose.

Time for bed.

Jay

P.S - I actually wasn't even going to post this entry. Sometimes I use this blog like a personal journal to just let out what I'm thinking. But whatever, thought I might as well post it anyways even if it does sound like a motivational speech to myself.

Later!

Motivated

2010-01-06T03:58:00Z

Happy 2010!

Hope everyone had a good holidays, mine was great. Lots of eating and relaxing over and over. And basically chilled the entire time, not worrying about poker or pretty much anything for that matter. Got to see the boys from home to watch some football, got some good xmas gifts, and lost our annual poker tournament. We've had this tournament for like 5 years now and I've yet to win, my KK got bitch slapped twice and I was out. Julie managed to win which was nice, she obviously takes my advice well!

As for 2010, I don't think I've ever looked more forward to a new year than for this one. its pretty obvious because I'm coming off one of the biggest downswings of my career, but I can't even put into words how ready and dedicated I am to coming back stronger than ever. I have this new mental approach to learning and getting better which is something I think I was missing in the past. Last year was great, but I think at one point I lost sight of the big picture of becoming a better player. I got so comfortable making money at my current limits that I wasn't continuously trying to improve my game. I knew that I had a winning strategy and that if I logged in my hours, I would be a winner in the long run. Although thats still probably true, I need to move to the next step. The game is evolving so much, that even when I look at hands from 6 months ago, its not the same as it is today.

I'm completely dedicated to becoming a sponge and taking in as much poker information as possible and taking my game to the next level. I've moved down in limits and will slowly move up once I feel comfortable. There is no doubt in my mind I will be one of the biggest winners in these mid stakes cap games by the end of the year.....

A funny thing happened in my session from yesterday, actually now that I think of it, it was probably the biggest bad beat I've ever taken since I was first dealt a hand of cards. Full Tilt has a new 'Run it Twice' feature, where if both people who are all in have the run it twice option checked, they will run it twice. Anyways I got it all in with KK vs another player who showed KK as well. We both had the run it twice option checked, and I ended up losing BOTH times! No joke. The first board he ran out a flush with his King of spades, and the second board ran out a flush with his King of clubs. I don't know what the odds of that are, but its gotta be ridiculous. Aside from that I've be running decent, not great though.. But I'm not worried about that at all, I'm focused on playing well, quitting when I'm losing, and continuously making correct decisions.

Oh yeah, I've got a twitter page now. I've yet to decide if I'm going to use it or not, but I was thinking I might use it to post some of my thoughts and stuff during my sessions. I was pretty spun when I was signing up to see that JayPizzo was already taken, so I had to use Jay_Pizzo.

So here's my page: twitter.com/Jay_Pizzo

If I see I'm getting some followers, I'll probably start to use it. So add me!

Alright all I'm off to bed...

Big things coming this year!!!!!!!!

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-22T18:43:00Z

Hey Guys,

Well its pretty obvious that I haven't blogged in a while, mainly because I've been going through a pretty tough time in poker these last few months. This downswing has been worse than I ever thought possible. Blogging wasn't really the number one thing on my priority list. Luckily for me, Christmas is here and which is good time to take a break from the tables and not worry about poker. Throughout this entire downswing I've done a lot of the things most people do during these times, ie. move down in limits, study more, play less tables etc etc. But the only thing I haven't done is take a break. I felt like every minute I wasn't playing or studying I was wasting time. I became a bit of a workaholic. I would shoot for 6 hours, study for 2, then go to bed thinking of every hand I played. Although I think being a little obsessive in your work can be a good thing, right now its probably for the worse. Like all the students taking a break from exams over the holidays, I need to do the same and come back in 2010 ready to have the best year of my life.

Although these last few months have been horrible, I still managed to have a great 2009. Not only did I have huge results, I really grown as a poker player. And when I dig my way out of this downswing, I know I will a better player because of it.

Life has been great otherwise, me and Julie bought ourselves our first home which is finally coming together. And I'm really looking forward to have a fun relaxing Christmas with friends and family.

I hope everyone has a great Christmas and I want to thank all you readers who continue to read my blog day in and day out. I know I haven't been the most consistent blogger, but I do really appreciate you guys who stay interested.

At the risk of sounding corny, I'm going to end this blog with a quote from one of my favorite movies Blow.

"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."

Jay

Pack Leader

2009-11-18T22:05:00Z

What's up guys,

Everything has been good lately. Things are starting to turn around on the tables and I feel like I'm playing the best poker I have in a long time. I'm still not playing 5/10 for a little while till I recoup some loses, so I've moved down and gotten re-focused. I'm playing shorter sessions, then going back and looking over all the big pots I played to find any mistakes. Last month I got into the routine of playing long sessions because I was usually getting stuck early on. Even if I was tired or didn't feel like playing I usually kept going, needless to say that didn't work out too well.

The end of this month is going to get busy with the move, so I'm not going to worry about putting in a ton of hands till then, but just focus on playing my 'A' game as much as possible. During this small stretch I've starting to think about the new year and goals I want to make for myself. I've never been a huge advocate of goal making, but positive affirmation in poker can go a long way. I won't be setting the goals till the end of December, so till then I'm going to be making small lists goals I think I can accomplish.

I mentioned in my last blog about the new player (Isildur) who has appeared in the high stakes games on Full Tilt lately, and the action has continued. Him and durrr are playing some of the biggest online heads-up matches in history. If you want a run down of the action so far, check out INTERNETPOKERS blog. Imagine sitting a table against durrr with a million dollar stack? I'd shit everywhere. I hope this action continues b/c its been great to watch.

Hope all is good with everything and gl at the tables.

Jay

Don't call it a comeback (haha Cin)

2009-11-12T00:26:00Z

What's going on,

Well I think the storm may be over. I don't want to get ahead of myself and think its free sailing from here on out, but the last couple days of gone fairly well. I'm running good and winning, and when thats the case you're usually playing well too. Hopefully things continue to go well and I can recover some loses. Although I don't like looking at poker as short term wins and losses, it would be nice to get out of the hole I've dug.

When I haven't been playing at the tables, I've been sweating the recent durrr heads-up match. He's playing some unknown 6 tables of 500/1k NL is the action is ridiculous. It must be the biggest online head-ups match in history. They are swinging up and down millions within hours. Pretty sick.

I also watched the Fedor fight on the weekend, and had some mixed emotions. I've always been a Fedor fan, basically because he's the best, and I love superiority. His knock out was insane, nearly knocked Roger's head off. But the one thing that got to me was when Rogers had in on the ground and was able to get in 3 or 4 punches with Fedor on his back. Fedor was able to get out of it, but I couldn't help to think that if Brock got him in that very same position, Fedor isn't getting out. Regardless, I don't really give a shit seeing Fedor fight these cans in Strikeforce, either come to the UFC or retire in my opinion.

The next couple weeks before I move are pretty much going to be the same.. shoot non stop, pack, shoot some more then move. This weekend I'm going to go buy a new computer desk for my new poker office, can't wait to get that all set up. When all is said and done I'll be sure to post some pics on here, probably won't be for about a month though.

Time to watch some hockey and sweat my fantasy players...

later

New Month, New Mindset.

2009-11-03T03:59:00Z

So last month was the first losing month I've had in years. But just like a fighter says after losing a fight, I'll get back to the tables, work on my mistakes, and be better next time.

I've really hit the books the last couple days, trying to plug any mistakes I was making in October, and trying to screw my head on straight. I'm currently trying to change things up a bit, and I don't mean with my game or strategy. Just little things like how many tables I'm playing, and maybe mix up my routine a bit. Its like when a good team is losing in sports, some times change of the lines and having fun in practice can loosen things up. Last month I was so incredibly focused on trying to play my best and getting unstuck, I got really worn out. Although I set new records on hands played and hours played in a month, I think it headed up hurting me a bit. Poker isn't a job, and some times when I treat it like one I over work myself and become a bit of a workaholic. If the games are bad, or I'm just not feeling like playing. I shouldn't! But whenever I'm not playing, I feel like I'm losing money. So this month I'm going to relax a bit, get back to enjoying the game, and not stress about winning or losing.

Obviously it will be nice when I start to run better and get back to killing it, but it'll come when it comes. I can't force anything. These are the times that make or break a good poker player. I can't even tell you how many guys I know who win for a while then hit a downswing and suddenly go broke. I'm not some high school kid playing poker in his parent's basement where going broke is an option. I'm in this for the long haul, poker is going to give me opportunities that most people don't have at my age.

Aside from poker, life has been pretty good, its going to get busy in a few weeks when we move. OH yeah, congrats to Two on his poker tournament wins last week. The fucking luck box won 2 tournaments at his home casino..lol But thats pretty nuts, I've never one two live tournaments in one week before. Must be nice. Since he doesn't write a blog, I'll post a pic of his trophies:

I know I haven't blogged much lately, and I can't promise I'll blog more this month. But when I'm winning I seem to blog more, so hope to see more blogs!

Later

Jay

Poker is a tough job?

2009-10-27T18:41:00Z

As you can see I've avoided blogging for a little while now... One, because I have zero motivation to write anything..and Two, because I've got nothing to write about except losing. Although writing about losing can be therapeutic at times, it can also be very unmotivating.

Anyways, while I was thinking about what I was going to write, I read a blog by a cardrunners pro that I swear took everything I was thinking and put it on paper. So instead of rambling about how I'm going to work on my game, put in volume and play good.. I'm going to post his blog here and let you guys give it a read. I don't even know if I'm allowed to do this or not, but whatever. He's a Cardrunners pro who plays much higher than I do, but every word he wrote seems to hold true of what I'm going through.

Here it is... if you don't feel like reading it, don't.. And wait for me to start smashing it again I'll be blogging much more. I should also note one thing, I am FAR from being busto. Although I'm running like hell, I still strive on bankroll management.

This blog post is both important and very unique, because in it I complain about losing and also convey resentment toward poker. Also, it is unnecessarily long. Nothing like it has ever been done before, so please prepare your brain for high impact novelty.

Well, since I last updated, a lot of shit has gone down – mostly me gaining back momentum, getting on a run, and then getting bludgeoned over and over. I finally was back on a roll until yesterday I played Isildur1 at 50/100 NL and 100/200 PLO, losing about 500k to him. I ran 400k under EV. I ran really, really bad. This is by far the worst losing day I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve never felt as much shock in my body as I felt during that match. It felt like I had just gone through a car crash. It bore down on me like an enormous mental weight, my body felt weak and tired, and my mind was too cloudy to couldn’t think of anything beyond the hands I was playing. I’ve never reacted that way to poker before. These last few months have been unfriendly, but yesterday the poker gods stretched my mouth wide open and took a huge and inglorious shit straight down my gullet.

So, since I’m a wannabe pseudo-intellectual, of course I have to rationalize this series of events. Poker sucks. I can’t run good. Randomness, variance simulations, survivorship bias, the people who tell the stories about poker are the people who've run good enough to seem to be worth listening to, blah blah blah. I want to write about that shit but who cares. Fuck that, fuck me. This is what I signed up for. Of all the hundreds of thousands of grinders who have tried to climb the mountain of poker, most of them have felt this moment before. Not everybody wins at poker, and for some the mountain is insurmountable.

I feel like it’s unfair. I look at the people around me who run good, who are rewarded for their efforts, for whom the good run and bad run come in equal shares, for whom their luck gives them room to breathe and remember the direction in which they’re climbing. I resent poker for pushing upon me this bad luck, even though I know the randomness must exist. I’ve seen the simulations, I’ve read the posts, I’ve even meditated on the idea countless times to myself. I’ve always known that if poker wanted to bury me, it could bury me so deep that I could never get out. I acknowledged the God of poker, and I’ve feared it, I have loved it. But I still put in my time. I still put in the hours playing, the hours studying, the hours coaching, the hours getting coached. I’ve done my share. I have been faithful, I have loved, and I have feared. I feel like it’s unfair.

This is what I feel.

But nevertheless, here I am. Buried. Buried so deep that I’d have to be the son of fucking God himself to get unburied. So since I am here in my grave, the only true way to unbury myself is to realize that there is no such thing as a grave unless one chooses to call it a grave. Where I am now is not a grave, nor is it above ground or anything in between. Where I am is where I am, it is my moment. From here, I begin to rebuild and reformulate. This is all there is. It’s time to start over. As much as I would like to think I am buried – as much as clinging to that idea makes me feel like what I have done in my past life defines me – I am not buried. I am here, I am alive; my hands and feet are alive. So I will climb.

That’s all I’m going to write in regards to that. Writing only does so much. I need to reset my mindset and reconstruct my narrative, and although writing can make it sound definite, it doesn't make it a part of my psyche. I guess what it'll take is time and work. Since this is a pretty emotionally shitty time for me, I’m going to mention a few things in regards to my blog and some other stuff I’ve put out. For one, I think it’s about time that I acknowledge that I’m not really that committed to this blog as far as updating it every week, and as such it doesn’t make that much sense for me to keep up with this silly contest. Right now I have a lot of other concerns in my life, poker included, that maintaining this blog or thinking up novel material for it is not really a priority for me. I’m going to, at least for now, rescind this free coaching deal. It’s really always been more of a mental gadfly than a genuine motivator, so I think I need to stop pretending that this sort of thing works.

Also, the deal that I offered here and on 2p2 about shipping $200 to every person who catches me complaining is also rescinded. It was kind of the same way. It didn’t really work as a motivator, if anything it just made me more tilted from all of the people PMing me all the time in regards to it, trying to catch every little thing I said in chat.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I’m not sure when the next time I update will be, but I’ll try to make it pretty soon. But obviously right now I need to spend some time regrouping and picking up the pieces.

Until next time,
Haseeb

P.S. This post is not a busto declaration, just means no nosebleeds for a while. For a long while, probably.

P.S.S. Oh, and fuck anyone who says poker isn't a tough job.

P.S.S.S. lolbusto

Quick Update

2009-10-17T18:11:00Z

Whats up guys,

Things have turned for the better this week, I was able to string together a few nice winning days and I'm playing well. I'm still stuck a bunch for the month, but I'm not too worried about it. I'm going to continue to play a bunch of hands focus on playing good poker.

Aside from that not too much else is going on. We move in a little over a month so I'm slowly getting ready for that. In my new place we have a second bedroom which I'm going to turn into my poker office. I'm looking forward to it because its much bigger than my current office and has a bunch of windows. I've started to hate my current office because it feels like I'm playing in a closet with no natural sunlight. I'll also be able to buy a new bigger desk giving me more room to set up my screens and be more comfortable.

Tomorrow I'm going to probably head to my brother's house and watch football all day. And get back to the grind on Monday.

Later

Jay

That felt good

2009-10-13T02:39:00Z

Just had a very satisfying winning day. That is all.

(I should really be using Twitter.)
...

Big Picture

2009-10-10T17:00:00Z

What's up guys..

Not too much new with me, Julie comes home today so I'm going to take the weekend off and start fresh next week. The more I think about this downswing the more it doesn't bother me. I was winning so much prior to this that I felt like I should always be winning, when in reality thats impossible. This is probably good for me and will obviously help me grow as a player. I'm looking forward to working my way out of this whole even if it takes me all month grinding lower stakes. I guess the hardest part about moving down is when I see the games are soft at a higher limit and know I have an immediate edge, but some times a slight edge can be trumped by variance.

This week is going to be pretty chill for me, I'll probably catch up on my PVR, going to my brother's place for Thanksgiving on Sunday, and the abundance of sports this week. I'm currently watching the President's Cup which I love to watch. I love seeing guys like Tiger in a team format hanging out and talking with his teammates.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention in my last blog, but eskal has decided to take the poker route for the time being and has been blogging about it. There's a link to it on the left side of my home page, or click here.

Alright gonna head for a steam and a swim now.. ttyl

Jay